Good news! My hip operation is happening soon. Last week, I got to meet my surgeon. He’s a lovely man. We discussed my current pain levels, my mobility issues and whether I should go ahead and have the operation. He was happy to do the surgery and told me that I am eligible for the direct anterior approach. He told me about what was involved and highlighted some of the complications that could arise. Despite all of this (and the possibility of death or dismemberment), we agreed to go ahead and get me booked in.
So, I am doing my best to lose as much weight as possible. I could do with dropping a stone or two. Next month I will meet with the consultant anaesthetist who will talk to me about what will happen. I am going to be awake, although I am opting for sedation because I don’t want to hear bone saws and hammers.
My family are helping me with my preparations. I have to get a few things organised before I go under the knife. I suppose I should get my affairs in order. I am still shitting myself. I have even dreamed about having the op.
But, I am going to use the surgery and the months of recovery to reinvent myself as a man. I will work hard on my health and fitness. I will transform myself into something new, both physically and mentally. I want to peel away the layers of other people’s expectations. I want to get back to the real me. Paul, that smelly kid who grew up on a council estate in Crawley. I aim to be genuine, caring and compassionate. I will prepare myself for the challenges ahead and be strong for my family and friends. I will not suffer fools gladly and will wear my heart on my sleeve.
So there you go. A rebrand, a reset, a new me, or the original me that has remained hidden for so many years. I’m unsure what will happen, but I am determined to do something. I need to change, and I will.
Until next time, adieu!