Published 5 June 2019
Being in a financial hole is hard.
There is no point pretending otherwise.
The pressure to provide for your family sits with you every day. It follows you into the kitchen. It follows you into bed. It sits beside you when you open the banking app and try to make numbers behave.
One way to stay sane when everything feels stacked against you is to look carefully at what is still working.
Not in a fake, positive-thinking way.
Just honestly.
When you feel low, gratitude can feel forced. So it helps to start with the simple things. The things you might overlook because they are already there.
Do we have a place to live?
Do we have an income?
Are we educated?
Do we have someone in our life who loves us?
Do we have decent relationships with some of our family?
Do we occasionally get free time to do something we enjoy?
Are we reasonably healthy?
Do we have beaches and countryside nearby?
What else do we need?
And is it essential?
That last question matters.
A lot of unhappiness comes from confusing need with want. I know, I do it. I look at what other people have and start measuring my life against theirs. A bigger house. A better car. Holidays abroad. More money. More ease.
Comparison is poisonous.
It makes you blind to what is already in front of you.
The next step is to think about how things could be worse. Not to frighten yourself, but to recognise what has not happened.
Am I dead?
Am I in prison?
Am I seriously ill?
Am I completely alone?
Am I without any chance of meeting new people?
Am I completely broke?
If the answer is no, then there is still something to work with.
That does not erase the pressure. It does not pay the bills. It does not turn a hard month into an easy one.
But it changes the angle slightly.
The past is another trap. I struggle with that every day. Things that could have happened do not exist in the present. They are not real. The only useful question is what exists now, and what can be changed from here.
Then there is stuff.
Possessions do not make you happy for long. The buzz of buying something new soon fades. Before long, the new thing becomes just another object on a shelf, in a drawer, or in the way.
That does not mean houses, cars, money, and nice things are bad.
They are not.
But they are not the route to peace if you keep using them to measure the quality of your life.
Spend time with the people you truly value.
That sounds obvious, but it is easy to forget. The people around you shape your mood, your thoughts, and your sense of what is possible. So choose carefully. Spend time with those who make you feel steadier, kinder, and more yourself.
Surround yourself with small things that lift you.
Flowers in the house.
Time near the sea.
A walk through the woods.
A little work on a car.
A book.
A quiet room.
A proper conversation.
None of those things has to cost much. Some cost nothing at all. But they change the texture of a day.
Getting outside helps too.
Walk to the beach. Go to the park. Ride a bike. Visit a museum. Talk to someone. Notice where you are. Notice what is still available to you.
Contentment is not pretending everything is fine.
It is being able to sit with what is, without measuring every part of life by what is missing.
Gratitude is not denial.
It is attention.
A small shift in how you move through the world can make life feel less hostile. Decide what matters. Decide what does not. Stop giving energy to things you do not care about and cannot change.
There is still pressure.
There is still work to do.
But there is also a home. A family. A coastline. A body that still moves. A mind that still notices.
For now, that is enough to begin with.
Until next time,
adieu.